Whoever said that about life throwing curve balls sure wasn't kidding. The past 2 months have been so unbelievable, I don't know where to start really. My mom has been pressuring me to keep a journal, but this seems like a better idea, so here I go. I'll start back at the beginning, when this madness began.
It was November... We were just getting used to me working 12 hour shifts at the hospital, weekends at that. We had a routine going, enjoying me being off on during the week. I was just getting used to living in a small town. Things were settling down. Then I found the lump and all heck broke loose. In a matter of a week, I had an ultrasound, a mammogram and a (very painful) biopsy. The news wasn't at all what we were expecting to hear, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I told the dr they must have mixed up my report with someone elses. There is just no way you can accept that kind of news easily. I was totally in denial. At 29, you just don't get breast cancer, it's just not supposed to happen!
They scheduled my surgery for a week and a half later. It was the worst 10 days of my life. I think I had 6 doctor appts during that week. The doctors were throwing all these new words at us, we were forced to make hard decisions, and quickly. We seemed to have more questions than answers. I felt like a was on a train. It was hurling along, so fast, I couldn't even catch my breath. The train just wouldn't stop and I had no control at all. I was so angry yet I was still in denial. I was so scared, terrified even, it almost felt paralyzing. This was not the plan I had for my life!
Somehow, I got through the surgery, emotions somewhat intact afterwards. They said the tumor was 6.5 cm, which is pretty large I think for breast cancer. I did have positive lymph nodes, for which, I'm having chemotherapy. I've had one treatment so far, and besides some nausea, 'brain fogginess' and extreme fatigue, it wasn't too bad. Treatment #2 will be next week.
I'm pretty much healed up from surgery and feel pretty good physically. I've been off work for about 6 weeks now, going back mid-January. On the up-side, I've been able to spend a lot of time with Sawyer, and I have to say, he's becoming a mama's boy! That sweet little boy is what keeps this girl going. I look into his eyes, and there is nothing I wouldn't do for him.
My prayer is that all these treatments work and take out any stray cells, and that by the summer, I am cancer free and well on my way to finding that 'new normal'. My boys need me and I need them! Ya'll keep praying! <3
Elisha, just know that Im always praying & thinking about you. And even though I dont get to spend as much time with you physically, that I carry you in my heart ALWAYS. Your not alone & we will beat this! I love you.
ReplyDelete"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
ReplyDeleteJeremiah 29:11
I loved reading your post! Your are a strong, beautiful, courageous woman. I admire you. This verse carries me through a lot of the time and when I think about youI think about this verse. The good in all of this is that God knows you personally. He has a plan for you, your family, and your friends. Most importantly, he allows us to find hope in him! I don't know his plan and I'm pretty sure you're questioning that right now yourself. The joy in all of this is that one day, he's gonna tap us on the head and boom! There's the answer-the "ah ha" moment. Until then, know that you are loved by so many. I am blessed to know you. Have a good day and a good next week! Love ya girl.
This was amazing to read. Your such a strong person an I pray for you everyday. We sure do miss seeing your beautiful face. Praying that you continue to recover well an are 100% soon.
ReplyDeleteI am so intrigued by your willingness to share your experience with the rest of the world. You have been thrown into such an undesirable situation, and have handled it with such courage and poise. I know you had no choice, but your bravery is inspiring. :)
ReplyDelete"I'm Gonna Love You Through IT"....Martina McBride. We're all gonna "love you through it". You're an inspiration to all of us. Praying for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing. Glad you're enjoying time with your baby, happiness heals :)
ReplyDeleteWhen things happen in our life we don't understand we just have to hold HIS hand and trust that HE is walking right with us on this new journey.Praying daily for new strength for the journey and wisdom for the Doctors and Nurses that are walking with you.Love You and YOU ARE A WINNER AND WINNERS NEVER QUIT, THEY JUST WIN!!!
ReplyDeleteYou are so strong. You inspire me and always have. Beautiful inside and out. Its rare to find someone like you that is so perfect. You are a wonderful nurse, mother, wife, daughter, and all of the above. I look up to you, and I know others do too. I pray for you every day. Keep your head and faith up. I love that you wrote this. I love you elisha, you are a great friend. I miss you dearly.
ReplyDeleteLove you girl. You can do this!!!!
ReplyDeleteI must say your blog is very moving. I went to church with Holly and Amanda at Gospelway. I just recently had a baby girl and I couldnt imagine having something like this thrown at me. You are a truly amazing person:) I pray that I can be as strong as you if i am ever faced with something like this. I cried while reading this, I dont know you personally but your courage has made an impression on my life. Keep and stay strong your an amazing woman and always will be!
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