If you're happy and you know it, take off your wig!

Hello my friends...

I'm going to try and do a little better and update my blog more than once every couple months...so maybe when I update it, it won't be about a gazillion things at once :)

Let's see....what's been going on....

1. We are working on finding a home church. It's been a long time coming, something we've wanted to do for a while now, but just haven't for one reason or another. We visited a church in Trinity for a few weeks, and while we enjoyed it, it wasn't quite the right fit for us. This past Sunday, we visited my sister Karen's church in High Point, it's called 'The Mission'. I know a lot of people there from my old church back in the day, "Lighthouse Assembly', so it sort of felt like home to me. So we'll see if it's the one for us...we plan on going back on Sunday.

I wanted to go to church because I though it'd help to get me through this battle I've been fighting. The battle was getting to be bigger than me, and I just couldn't do it by myself anymore. I thought it would be something positive for my life, something uplifting. That was my plan, go to church, get some good vibes, sing a little, pray a little, a little 'pick-me-up' if you will, and come back the next Sunday. So much for my plans. I am realizing I really want God's spirit to be in my life, and in my heart, to help me grow as a person, as a Christian, to have a closer walk with him, and ultimately to carry out his plan for my life.  It is such a comfort just to feel God's presence. I forgot what it was like to feel really loved by God.  I'm realizing all over again He really loves me and will always be with me, and no matter what I do, no matter how stubborn or cranky I get (you know I can be), no matter what, he will keep on loving me. And to see I can try and show his love to others with how I live my life. It's not really something I can put into words, except to say, it's exciting to see what his plan is.

I haven't been to church seriously, consistently, since I was 15 years old, so it all sort of feels so new to me, like I'm a little baby Christian, with my paci and blankie, learning to sit by myself for the 1st time or something. Like I've got so much to learn, and so much to work on inside myself. I've been living for so long just 'doing it my way', just doing the best I can, trying to be a 'good person', but I'm realizing that's not enough for me. For some reason, I had this idea, I needed to get all my ducks in a row, that I had to 'get ready' to be a Christian....then I'd go to church. But I figured out I didn't have to get myself together before going to church. We can work on me together. I can go just as I am, and he'll meet me there.

Update #2....... I've finished 23 radiation treatments! Which leaves 10 more. I'm 2/3 of the way done. It's honestly flown by. People ask me if it makes me tired, hows my skin holding up, etc. I can still honestly say, it's nothing like chemo, so I'm doing pretty good. It doesn't make me nauseous, it doesn't affect my appetite or give me uncontrollable diarrhea, there is no systemic effect. (again, nothing like chemo!) I'm not any more tired than I was before I started rads. My skin is red, irritated and itchy, but still manageable at this point. Again, it's not chemo! lol. Only 10 more to go. Piece 'o cake right...

#3....My hair is still growing, I would say another month and I'll have some great coverage. I have stopped wearing my wig out in public, except to work and church. However, I am not going almost bald-headed to work...You've got to remember the crowd I work with... on the geriatric-psych unit. Some of our patients are psychotic, hallucinating, delusional.... I don't think a bald-headed female nurse coming at them (with thinning eyebrows and no eyelashes) would help their case at all. lol. So I go to work with the wig and then rip it off the second I get back in the car. Out in public, no one seems to mind my bald-headedness. A couple kids have taken a double take at me, but that's about it. I don't know, I guess I kinda had this idea if I walked into Walmart or Food Lion sans wig, people would run from me, screaming and shrieking. But to my disappointment, it's not yet happened. It seems no one cares. Well...I take that back, my nephew Landon asked me just this afternoon if I was turning into a boy. oh my....   :)

Wrapping it up.........Thanks again for everyone's support, it really means a lot. And a big 'ol special thank you to my sweet friend Heather from nursing school. She mailed me the dvd Rudy. You girls from nursing school will remember she always watched that movie before our tests, to pump her up and get her motivated. I cried when I opened the package and saw that movie and read her sweet card. It meant so much. People keep on amazing me. I've never felt as loved as I have these past 7 months.

...until next time...love ya'll!
-Elisha